Remember the hill? This is one time I could not make it up last week… I had to stop and walk with frequent breaks so I got the phone out.
Judging by how dark this image is I need a better headlight on the bike but it gave me an idea to light paint the path, something I can continue to work on and improve.
In my defence I am ill (though I did not realise it at the time) and under orders to rest, the timing of which annoys me no end.
– Is a good thing to apply in life occasionally, particularly when it gets cluttered and confused. There is something appealing about an object or process stripped down to the essential elements.
Needing to make a mark and all the elements are present, a surface to record on, a tool to record with but no idea of what to place on the page… My mind is as dull as the weather at present.
The only consolation is chocolate
I spend too much time looking at me feet… Doing that showed me two things;
- I need new boots and;
- I need to reboot the project and get through this block I’m experiencing.
To do that, I know I need to fail a lot, doing what does not work to get to what does. When your subject is inanimate, rework is not an issue. Being rejected by a potential sitter does not bother me as much as disappointing that person who is giving up their time.
The reality is that will happen and the sooner I work through it the sooner I will get some progress.
There is this rising sense of creative frustration I’m experiencing lately that needs breaking with some urgency.
The time I freed up when study finished has been sucked up by things I could say no to or defer when I was studying. I do get little things done but there are no blocks of time to commit to more and that’s the reason I have not put up a new project lately. Carrying a DSLR daily and not getting time to use it simply adds to this friction I feel. I just can’t get it together and make something happen and since I was looking forward to doing that it feels like the goals are being moved further away.
The simplest action is to take some leave but that is too complicated at present. It would be easy to stop but that’s not my way. I will wait, chip away at the edges of things and do what I can to go further.
I don’t know who said it but I recall a saying about the real challenge in mountain climbing comes after you reach the summit. I knew something similar to this was coming after five years of study and I thought I had figured out a way forward but that is not exactly going to plan.
Just as well I’m good at re invention. At least I hope I still am…
Listening to Audioslave
But I feel like a spectator rather than a performer at present…